Why are the sweaty socks barbaric?

I have been to scotland quite a few occasions. It was beautifal but the people with their ugly faces, yellow teeth, bad breath and B.O let it down. I could not understand one word that came out of their mouths. I was scared at points that they might eat me. They were hostile in so many ways. I called on my butler to take me away from them. He did as he was told but was lost in the spit that came out of their dreadful mouths. What must we do my fellow English men to stop these barbarians from spreading their awful ways before it is too late. Why I say, we finish king Edward th 1st job by going to war with them. Why I say it shall only take 5 hours to defeat them. There are hardly any of the horrid creatures(Thank god) So what do you say my fellow English men!!